8 scenarios in life where you should start putting others second, says psychology

As human beings, we inherently desire to help, support, and care for the people around us. We want to ensure they are happy, healthy, and fulfilled.

However, there are times when focusing on others can begin to impact our own well-being negatively.

Psychology suggests there are certain scenarios in life where it’s not only acceptable but necessary to put yourself first. The key here is understanding when self-priority is crucial and how it can be beneficial for both ourselves and the people around us in the long run.

In this article, we will dive into these situations and explore why prioritizing ourselves sometimes is not just okay, but essential.

1) You’re constantly feeling drained

Feeling drained isn’t only about physical exhaustion. It can also refer to emotional and mental fatigue, which often happens when we’re constantly looking out for others at the expense of our own well-being.

You might find yourself always the one lending an ear, offering advice, or jumping in to help solve problems. While it’s great to be there for others, it’s important to realize when it’s becoming a one-way street.

Perhaps you notice that your energy levels are consistently low, or you’re feeling emotionally depleted. Maybe you’re finding it hard to concentrate or feel constantly stressed and on edge.

These could be signs that you’re taking on too much of other people’s emotional burdens and neglecting your own needs.

In such scenarios, psychology suggests it’s time to start putting yourself first. Prioritize self-care and make sure you have enough energy and emotional bandwidth for your own life and challenges.

2) Your personal goals are on hold

Everyone has dreams and aspirations – goals that give life direction and purpose. But sometimes, in the process of caring for others, these personal goals get sidetracked.

You may notice that your own ambitions and dreams have taken a backseat while you’re busy helping others realize theirs.

Maybe you’re spending so much time supporting your friend’s startup that your own business plan is gathering dust. Or perhaps, you’re always available for your family, leaving no time for the degree you’ve been hoping to pursue.

While it’s noble to support others, it’s essential to remember that your dreams are just as important. If you find your personal growth stalling or your goals constantly on hold, it may be a sign that you need to start putting yourself first.

By prioritizing your own growth and aspirations, not only do you fulfill your own potential, but you also become better equipped to help others in a more meaningful and sustainable way.

3) You’re always the peacemaker

Being the peacemaker in conflicts can often feel like you’re doing the right thing. You step in, mediate, and try to ensure everyone is happy and at peace. But this role can sometimes come at a cost to your own wellbeing.

You might find yourself constantly in the middle of disagreements, trying to smooth things over, even when it’s not your battle to fight. This could be between family members, friends or colleagues. In the process, you may end up absorbing unnecessary stress and tension.

Moreover, always being the peacemaker might mean you’re suppressing your own opinions and feelings to maintain harmony. This could lead to feelings of resentment or frustration over time.

When you find yourself regularly playing the peacekeeper at the expense of your own peace, it may be time to step back. It’s not about encouraging conflict but allowing others to resolve their issues while you maintain your boundaries and protect your mental health.

4) You’re losing your sense of self

We all play multiple roles in life – a friend, a family member, a partner, a colleague. But sometimes, in an attempt to adapt and fit into these roles perfectly, we can lose sight of who we really are.

You might find yourself constantly changing your behavior, opinions, or even appearance to please others. Maybe you’ve started to lose touch with your own likes and dislikes or have stopped pursuing interests that used to bring you joy.

Being adaptable is great, but it should never come at the cost of losing your sense of self. If you can’t recognize the person in the mirror anymore or feel like you’re living someone else’s life, it’s time to take a step back.

Reconnect with who you are at your core. Prioritize time for self-reflection and self-discovery. It’s okay to put others second if it means finding yourself again.

5) You’re neglecting your own health

Caring for others is a beautiful trait. It shows empathy, compassion, and love. But sometimes, in the process of taking care of others, we forget to take care of ourselves.

You might notice that you’re often skipping meals because you’re too busy helping a friend. Or maybe you’re losing sleep over a family member’s problem.

While it’s admirable to be there for others, remember that your health is important too. If you find that your physical or mental health is suffering because you’re always putting others first, it’s time to reconsider your priorities.

Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary. Prioritize your health, because only when you are in good health can you truly support and care for others in the way they deserve.

6) You’re feeling unappreciated

It’s a common scenario – you’re always there for others, always ready to lend a helping hand or a listening ear. But when you need support, you find yourself alone.

Maybe your friends don’t notice the effort you put into maintaining the relationship or your family takes your support for granted. Perhaps you’re always the one initiating plans or checking in on others, and it feels like a one-sided effort.

Feeling unappreciated can be disheartening and can lead to feelings of resentment and loneliness. If you find yourself in this situation, it might be time to reevaluate your relationships and start putting yourself first.

It’s important to be in relationships where there’s mutual respect, appreciation, and reciprocity. You deserve to be appreciated and acknowledged for the care and effort you put in.

7) Your free time is never really free

We all love that feeling of having some free time – a chance to relax, indulge in hobbies, or simply do nothing at all. But for some of us, this ‘free’ time doesn’t feel free at all.

You might find that your leisure time is always filled with commitments to others.

Perhaps you’re spending your weekends helping a friend move or using your evenings to plan a family event. Maybe you’re using your vacation days to attend social functions instead of heading for that solo trip you’ve been dreaming about.

If you’re nodding along as you read this, it’s a sign that you need to start putting yourself first.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to say no sometimes.

Your free time is yours to spend as you wish. So go ahead, sleep in on a Sunday, start that book you’ve been meaning to read, or simply enjoy a quiet cup of coffee. A little me-time can do wonders for your well-being!

8) You’re always the ‘go-to’ person

Being reliable is a fantastic quality. People know they can count on you, and that feels good. But let’s face it, always being the ‘go-to’ person can be exhausting.

Maybe your friends always turn to you for advice or your family constantly relies on you for help. Perhaps your colleagues dump all the tough tasks on you because they know you’ll never say no.

While it’s great to be dependable, it shouldn’t mean you’re available 24/7. If you’re constantly solving everyone else’s problems, when do you have time to address your own?

You’re not a superhero, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s important to make time for yourself and your needs.

Self-love is not selfish

In a world where we’re often taught to put others before ourselves, it can be challenging to prioritize self-love.

But here’s the crucial thing you should remember: taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s essential.

You might feel guilty or selfish for wanting to put yourself first. This mindset needs to change. Prioritizing your health, happiness, and well-being doesn’t mean you care any less about others.

In fact, when you are content and healthy, you’ll be in a better position to support and care for the people around you. It’s like the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

So, if you’ve found yourself relating to these scenarios, know it’s time for a change. Start prioritizing self-love and self-care.

After all, you deserve your love and attention as much as anyone else.