If you recognize these 8 signs, your ego is running the show (and it’s time to make a change)

When someone constantly needs validation, you know their ego is large. If they always have to be right, you know their ego is in control.

Understanding human behavior isn’t always a walk in the park. The human mind is a complicated labyrinth that can sometimes make recognizing our own behaviors and traits a challenge.

But some signs are undeniable. And if you spot these 8 specific signs in your everyday life, it’s time to face the music – your ego is calling the shots. And it might just be time to make a change.

Let’s dive into these signs and see if it’s time to start shifting our focus from ego-driven decisions to more heart-centered actions.

1) You’re constantly seeking validation

Validation is a tricky beast.

We all crave it from time to time – a pat on the back, a reassuring word, or a compliment can make our day. But when your need for validation starts to dictate how you live your life, it’s usually your ego taking the reins.

If you’re always seeking approval from others, if you’re constantly looking for recognition and praise to feel worthy, then it’s a clear sign your ego is running the show.

You see, the ego thrives on external validation. It seeks acknowledgement and admiration like a moth drawn to a flame and will go to great lengths to get it.

However, true self-worth comes from within. It is not dependent on how others see us but how we see ourselves.

Learning to recognize this need for validation and understanding where it’s coming from is the first step towards taking control back from your ego. Let’s learn to value ourselves for who we are and not for the validation we receive from others.

See? It’s not as scary as it sounds.

2) You struggle to admit when you’re wrong

I’ll be the first to admit it – saying “I was wrong” can be a bitter pill to swallow.

There was a time in my life when I would argue to the end of the earth, even when I knew deep down that I was in the wrong. My ego was so large and in charge, that admitting mistakes felt like a direct attack on my self-worth.

But here’s the thing – being wrong is human. We all make mistakes, and that’s okay. It’s how we grow and learn.

The moment I realized my stubbornness was ego-driven, not fact-based, was a game-changer for me. I began to see that admitting when I’m wrong doesn’t make me weak, it makes me honest and authentic.

If you find yourself unable to accept your mistakes or if you’re constantly defending your actions, even when they’re clearly misguided, it might be time to check your ego.

Admitting you’re wrong doesn’t diminish your value; instead, it shows strength, humility, and a willingness to grow.

3) You can’t take criticism

Criticism can sting, no doubt about it. But it’s also an essential part of personal growth and improvement.

In ancient Greek philosophy, the concept of “Elenchus” was practiced by Socrates, who believed in the power of critical questioning to expose contradictions in an individual’s beliefs and promote intellectual humility.

If you find yourself getting defensive or upset when faced with criticism, even if it’s constructive, your ego might be pulling the strings.

Instead of seeing criticism as a personal attack, try to view it as a tool for growth. Remember, nobody is perfect and there is always room for improvement.

Your worth isn’t measured by your ability to avoid mistakes, but by your willingness to learn and grow from them.

4) You’re always comparing yourself to others

Do you find yourself constantly measuring your worth against the achievements of others? If so, your ego might be in the driver’s seat.

Comparisons are a natural part of human nature, but when they start to consume your thoughts and affect your self-esteem, it’s a clear sign that your ego is running the show.

Remember, everyone’s life journey is unique and different. What may work for someone else may not necessarily work for you. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own growth and progress.

After all, the only person you should be in competition with is the person you were yesterday.

5) You have a hard time empathizing with others

I’ve noticed that when my ego is in control, I tend to be less empathetic. It’s as if my own needs and feelings take center stage, leaving little room to genuinely understand or share the feelings of others.

If you find that you’re struggling to empathize with others, or that you’re often focused on your own experiences rather than considering the perspectives of those around you, it’s a strong indication that your ego is in command.

I’ve found that practicing mindfulness and active listening can be incredibly helpful in shifting this focus.

By consciously making an effort to understand others’ feelings and experiences, I’ve been able to reduce the influence of my ego and foster deeper connections with the people around me.

Remember, empathy isn’t about losing yourself, but about understanding and connecting with others. The world is much bigger than just “I” and “my” experiences.

6) You’re often the peacemaker in conflicts

This might seem odd, right? How could being the peacemaker indicate that your ego is in control?

Well, always playing the peacemaker can sometimes be a sign that you’re avoiding conflict to protect your own self-image.

If you’re always stepping in to smooth things over, it may be because you can’t bear the thought of being seen as anything less than harmonious and agreeable.

Avoiding conflict at all costs isn’t always healthy. If you’re doing it to maintain a certain image or because you fear how others might perceive you, it’s likely your ego speaking.

Remember, it’s okay to disagree and face conflict head-on. Authenticity sometimes requires standing your ground, even if it might lead to temporary discord. True peace isn’t about avoiding conflict, but about resolving it in a respectful and constructive manner.

7) You frequently feel defensive

Defensiveness is often a knee-jerk reaction when our ego feels threatened. If you notice that you’re often on the defensive, trying to justify your actions or feelings, it’s a clear sign that your ego might be in control.

Remember, it’s okay to have your feelings and actions questioned. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re wrong or that the other person is right. It’s simply an opportunity for discussion and growth.

Instead of immediately jumping to defend yourself, try to pause and understand where the other person is coming from.

This can help reduce the influence of your ego and foster healthier, more open conversations.

8) You’re afraid of failure

The fear of failure can be paralyzing, stopping us from taking risks or pursuing our dreams.

And often, it’s our ego that’s the source of this fear. It doesn’t want us to fail, because failure might make us look bad or feel less worthy.

But remember this: failure is not a reflection of your worth. It’s simply a part of the journey towards success. Every setback is a setup for a comeback, and every mistake is a stepping stone towards greatness.

So don’t let your ego hold you back. Embrace failure, learn from it, and keep moving forward. Because in the grand scheme of things, it’s not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up.

Embracing the journey towards self-awareness

It’s important to remember that recognizing these signs is not about shaming ourselves or feeling guilty. We all have an ego, and it plays a crucial role in our lives.

However, when it starts to take control and dictate our actions, that’s when we need to take a step back.

The journey towards self-awareness and personal growth is a continuous one. It’s about learning to understand ourselves better, acknowledging our flaws and working on them.

Remember, the goal is not to erase our ego, but to create a healthier balance where our actions are driven by compassion, understanding, and love rather than fear, defensiveness, or the need for validation.

Albert Einstein once said, “More the knowledge lesser the ego, lesser the knowledge more the ego.”

Becoming aware of these signs and actively working on them is a step towards gaining more knowledge about ourselves and reducing the influence of our ego.

Here’s to embracing this journey towards self-awareness. May we become more empathetic, humble, and understanding individuals as we navigate through life.