If someone uses these 8 phrases in conversation, they probably have low-level social skills

Navigating social interactions can be a bit like trying to find your way through a labyrinth. It’s not always smooth sailing, and sometimes, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves at a dead-end.

I’ve spent countless hours pondering over past conversations, wondering why they didn’t go as planned. Was it something I said? Or was it the way they responded?

In my quest to understand, I’ve realized that certain phrases people use in conversation can actually be indicative of their social skills level.

It’s not about being judgmental, rather it’s about understanding the dynamics of social interactions and how they can impact our relationships.

This is not just about identifying these phrases to avoid people with low-level social skills.

It’s more about recognizing these signs so that we can foster better communication with those around us – be it our kids, our partners or even our friends and family.

We all stumble with our words from time to time, and that’s perfectly okay.

But when certain phrases become a pattern, they may indicate that the person could do with a little help in the social skills department.

In this article, I’ll be sharing 8 such phrases that might signal low-level social skills.

Understanding these could help us navigate our conversations more effectively, and who knows, maybe even salvage some of those relationships teetering on the brink of a dead-end.

Stay tuned if you’re as intrigued as I am about this fascinating aspect of human interaction.

1) They constantly interrupt or talk over you

Let’s start with a classic. We’ve all been there, in the middle of a conversation, sharing our thoughts and feelings, and then bam! The other person interrupts or talks over us.

This can be incredibly frustrating. It not only disrupts the flow of conversation but also sends out a strong signal that our words are not valued.

Now, don’t get me wrong. We all interrupt at times, often without even realizing it. It’s a common human behavior, especially when we’re excited or passionate about something.

But when it becomes a recurring pattern, it’s a red flag. It shows a lack of respect for the other person’s thoughts and feelings and can be indicative of low-level social skills.

So if you notice someone consistently interrupting or talking over others in conversation, they might need a bit of help with their social skills.

And as parents, friends, or partners, we can gently guide them towards better conversational etiquette for more meaningful and respectful interactions.

2) They seldom ask follow-up questions

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where it feels like you’re just talking to a brick wall?

You’re sharing something close to your heart, and all you get in response is a bland “Oh” or “Okay”. No follow-up questions, no signs of genuine interest.

This happened to me once when I was telling a friend about a new job opportunity I was excited about. I was expecting her to ask more about it, show some interest or at least congratulate me.

But all she said was, “That’s nice”. It felt like she wasn’t really interested in what I had to say.

Follow-up questions are an integral part of any conversation.

They show that we’re listening and that we’re interested in what the other person is saying. They also help to keep the conversation flowing naturally.

When someone consistently fails to ask follow-up questions, it may indicate that they lack certain social skills.

They might not fully understand the give-and-take nature of conversations or how important it is to show genuine interest in others.

So next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone who isn’t asking any follow-up questions, remember it’s not necessarily a reflection on you.

Maybe they just need a little guidance on how to be more engaging in their conversations.

3) They always steer the conversation back to themselves

Famous author Dale Carnegie once said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

This quote hits the nail on the head when it comes to understanding the essence of good conversation.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with talking about ourselves. In fact, sharing personal experiences and stories is how we connect with others on a deeper level.

But there’s a fine line between sharing and dominating a conversation.

I’ve encountered people who, no matter what topic you bring up, always find a way to steer the conversation back to themselves.

You could be talking about the latest book you’ve read, and they’ll somehow turn it into a monologue about their own reading habits.

This behavior can be quite off-putting for others in the conversation. It makes them feel unheard and unimportant, which is not conducive to building strong relationships.

So if you notice someone constantly turning the conversation back to themselves, it might be a sign of low-level social skills.

And Carnegie’s wisdom might just be what they need to understand the true value of being genuinely interested in others.

4) They only talk about themselves and never inquire about you

In conversation, there’s a delicate balance between sharing about ourselves and showing interest in the other person. It’s like a dance, with each partner taking turns to lead and follow.

Did you know that in a study by Harvard neuroscientists, it was found that talking about ourselves—whether in a personal conversation or through social media platforms—triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money?

While this explains why some people might lean towards talking more about themselves, it doesn’t excuse the lack of interest shown towards others.

Imagine being on a coffee date where the other person does all the talking about their life, their interests, their achievements, without once asking about you.

It can leave you feeling overlooked and undervalued.

Hence, if someone mostly talks about themselves and seldom shows curiosity about you in a conversation, it could be a sign of low-level social skills.

And being aware of this can help us guide them to be more balanced and considerate in their communication.

5) They consistently use negative or critical language

Another subtle sign of low-level social skills is the consistent use of negative or critical language.

We all have our off days when we might be a little more pessimistic or critical than usual. But when it becomes a pattern, it’s something to take note of.

In conversation, words really matter. They can either build bridges or create walls. When someone constantly uses negative phrases like “I hate…”, “That’s stupid…” or “You’re wrong…”, it can make the conversation feel draining and unenjoyable.

This constant negativity not only brings down the mood of the conversation, but it also creates a barrier that prevents meaningful interaction.

It’s hard to connect with someone when you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells around them.

So if you notice someone frequently using negative or critical language in conversation, it could be a sign that they need some help in improving their social skills.

And by understanding this, we can better navigate our interactions with them and foster more positive and uplifting conversations.

6) They use dismissive phrases frequently

As we navigate through conversations, there are phrases that can be like little speed bumps, slowing down the flow and potentially causing a communication breakdown.

One such sign of low-level social skills is the frequent use of dismissive phrases.

We’ve all come across someone who tends to dismiss others’ thoughts or feelings with phrases like “Whatever”, “I don’t care”, or “It doesn’t matter”.

It’s as if they’re brushing off your input without giving it due consideration.

Such dismissive behavior can make the other person feel unimportant and unheard.

It can also create an uncomfortable environment where open and honest communication is discouraged.

Remember, effective conversation is about understanding and respecting each other’s perspectives, even if we don’t necessarily agree with them.

If someone is frequently dismissive in their conversations, it may indicate that they need some guidance in developing better social skills.

By recognizing these signs, we can help foster a more respectful and considerate conversational environment – one where everyone’s thoughts and feelings are valued.

7) They often use vague and non-committal language

Moving forward in our exploration of conversational cues, let’s talk about the use of vague or non-committal language.

You know, those “maybe”, “probably”, “we’ll see” kind of responses that leave you hanging, unsure of where you stand.

Non-committal phrases like these can be a sign of indecision or lack of confidence, both of which are related to low-level social skills.

It can also be frustrating for the other person in the conversation who is seeking a clear response or decision.

For instance, if you’re trying to plan a get-together with a friend and all they respond with is “maybe” or “I’ll see”, it can be quite confusing.

Are they interested but uncertain? Or are they just trying to avoid saying no outright?

When someone often resorts to vague and non-committal language in their conversations, it may indicate a need for them to work on their social skills.

By understanding this, we can better navigate our interactions with them and perhaps even encourage them towards clearer communication.

8) They frequently use blame-shifting phrases

Finally, one of the most telling signs of low-level social skills is the frequent use of blame-shifting phrases.

It’s the classic “It’s not me, it’s you” kind of scenario where the person avoids owning up to their mistakes or shortcomings.

Phrases like “You’re too sensitive”, “You misunderstood me”, or “You’re overreacting” are often used to shift the blame onto others while avoiding personal accountability.

This can be incredibly damaging in a conversation as it invalidates the other person’s feelings and experiences.

Personal accountability is a crucial component of effective communication and healthy relationships.

When someone consistently shifts the blame onto others, it may indicate that they have some work to do in developing their social skills.

Recognizing these blame-shifting phrases can help us better navigate our conversations and relationships.

It can also provide an opportunity for us to guide and support those who might be struggling with these social skills, fostering a more understanding and empathetic conversational environment.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these conversational cues isn’t about labeling or criticizing, but rather understanding how we can better communicate with each other.

Social interaction is a two-way street – it involves both talking and listening, sharing and understanding, giving and taking.

If you’ve recognized some of these phrases in your own conversations, don’t be disheartened. The first step towards improving our social skills is awareness.

With this newfound understanding, you’re already on the path to becoming a better communicator.

Consider this: Every time we converse with someone, we’re given an opportunity to better understand them and ourselves.

It’s through these interactions that we grow as individuals and strengthen our relationships.

So, the next time you catch yourself using one of these phrases or notice them in a conversation, take a moment to reflect.

Ask yourself how you can communicate more effectively. Remember, it’s not about perfection but progress.

Ultimately, the aim is to foster conversations that are respectful, engaging, and meaningful – conversations that enrich our lives and the lives of those we interact with.

And isn’t that what communication is all about?

After all, as George Bernard Shaw wisely said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” So let’s strive to make our conversations count.