The Depth of My Daughter

We got some news recently. Really good news. But I’ve been weighed down by mixed emotions. My husband got a new job. A really good job, in fact. The catch? We have to move across the country, 4440 km to be exact. We are leaving our network, my family, and some of the best people I’ve ever known. Raising children has made me lean into those closest to me more than my fiercely-indepent-self would have ever done before. The payoff has been, aside from extra hands on deck, my daughter and son have developed such solid connections with those I love the most. To add to it all, I couldn’t be more in love with where I live. The mountains, ocean, lakes, river, mild temperatures, hiking and walking trails make this area feel like a natural playground, a perfect place to explore and re-explore. When my husband found out he got the job, my immediate reaction was joy! He so deserves this position. Especially considering that after we fell in love, he left a very lucrative, secure job to move back to Canada and be with me. This new position is one that appeals to his strengths more than anything he’s had since he moved here. Despite this, I’ve been left in a state of nervousness, anxiety, and uncertainty. I’ve been craving a shift in perspective, some form of insight. I’ve prayed, but I haven’t felt calm.

On a particularly rainy morning, I sat fascinated as the torrents poured down after days without rain. Though Vancouver is known for its rain and a climate much milder than the rest of Canada, Vancouverites are known to perpetually complain about how wet/ gray/ hot/ cold/ couldy/ sunny it is. Without fail, when it rains, acquaintances will follow the greeting of, “How are you?” with something along the lines of, “What terrible weather!” My three-year-old daughter looked out that morning at the tumultuous, gray skies and pelting precipitation, and exclaimed, “What a beautiful day!” and meant every word of it. It was at that moment I realized, it was. The rain offered much needed revitalization. For my daughter, she saw limitless adventure (we love to jump in rain puddles) different from a sunny day, but equally as promising. For me, it represented a cleansing of the proverbial slate.

The week concluded with the celebration of her third birthday. That night, as I laid down beside her as she unwound from a very exciting day, we recounted highlights of the day. I asked, “What was your favourite part?” Her sleepy eyes momentarily shone with immense sparkle. Her voice filled with whimsy and warmth, “Everything!” she exclaimed. The words echoed in me. What she shared both times this week resonated so deeply, giving me the shift I needed. It reminded me of a quote,

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

My daughter made me realize that no matter where my family resides, no matter what our circumstance, as long as I have my loved ones in my life, and I have my children and husband near me, my life is abundantly full.

Have you moved away from home? Have you had any little graces or pearls of wisdom lately? Please share!

xo Alana