People who were brought up by selfish parents typically develop these 8 behaviors later in life

If your mom or dad was always about “me, me, me,” you likely have a lot to say about it. Growing up with selfish parents isn’t a walk in the park, but it sure is an education.

In fact, it can shape you in ways you’d never expect. But it’s not all bad news. Some of what you learn might just serve you well in life.

Let’s talk about the 8 behaviours people often develop when they’re raised by self-centered parents. Some may surprise you, others might hit close to home.

1) Overcompensating for perceived selfishness

It’s a common story.

You grow up with parents who always put themselves first, and as a result, you swear to be the complete opposite. You make a promise to yourself that you will never let anyone feel the way you did.

In an attempt to distance yourself from what you see as selfish behavior, you may find yourself going overboard in being generous and selfless.

So much so, that it begins to take a toll on your personal life and mental health.

But here’s the thing, it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.

There’s a difference between being selfish and taking care of your needs.

It’s a tough lesson, but an important one. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

2) Struggling with self-esteem

I know this one all too well.

My parents were always so focused on their own needs, their own wants, their own lives, that sometimes I felt like I was just a supporting character in their story.

And it took a hit on my self-esteem.

I constantly questioned my worth. Was I not important enough to be considered? Were my thoughts and feelings not valuable enough to be heard?

It was a constant struggle, one that stayed with me long after I’d moved out and started my own life.

You see, growing up with selfish parents can often leave you feeling undervalued and overlooked, which can lead to self-esteem issues that linger into adulthood.

It’s a tough road to walk, but recognizing the origin of these feelings can be the first step towards overcoming them.

Your worth is not defined by how others treated you, but by how you see and treat yourself.

3) Developing a strong sense of independence

When your parents are always looking out for number one, you quickly learn to fend for yourself.

In fact, children of selfish parents often become incredibly self-reliant at an unexpectedly young age.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Research shows that self-reliance can lead to better problem-solving skills, more confidence, and a higher level of resilience.

But it’s a double-edged sword. While it can equip you with valuable life skills, this forced independence can also make it difficult for you to ask for help when you need it, or to accept support from others.

Balancing this independence with the ability to lean on others when necessary is an important part of growing and thriving as an individual.

4) Becoming a perfectionist

When you grow up with selfish parents, you quickly learn that the best way to receive recognition or praise is to be perfect.

After all, your actions and achievements often only matter when they somehow reflect well on your parents.

This can lead to a deep-seated need for perfection, a drive to always be the best at everything you do.

You strive to be flawless, not for yourself, but to gain the approval and attention that was scarce in your childhood.

But here’s a tough truth: perfection doesn’t exist.

Chasing it can lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, and even burnout.

It’s important to recognize this trait in yourself and work towards accepting that it’s okay to be less than perfect. You are enough just as you are.

5) Craving validation

I’ll be honest, this one’s a biggie for me.

Growing up, I often felt like I was invisible unless I did something that benefited my parents or made them look good. It was as if my worth was tied to their approval.

And that feeling didn’t just disappear when I became an adult.

I found myself constantly seeking validation from others, needing assurance that I was doing well, that I was good enough.

It’s a hard habit to break. But what I’ve learned is that the only validation that truly matters is the one you give yourself.

If you were brought up by selfish parents and have a constant need for validation, start by validating yourself. Recognize your own value, independent of others’ opinions.

It’s not an easy process, but it’s a journey worth taking.

6) Becoming excessively empathetic

Seems odd, right? You’d think growing up with selfish parents would make you more self-centered.

But more often than not, the opposite happens.

You become extremely sensitive to others’ needs and feelings, always careful not to inflict the same emotional neglect you experienced. You put others first, sometimes to your own detriment.

While empathy is a wonderful trait to have, it’s important not to lose yourself in the process.

Taking care of others shouldn’t come at the expense of your own well-being. It’s okay to prioritize your needs too.

You matter just as much as everyone else.

7) Difficulty in forming intimate relationships

Growing up with selfish parents can often leave you wary of close relationships.

You’ve seen firsthand how someone’s self-centered behavior can hurt others, and the last thing you want is to be on the receiving end of such behavior again.

This fear can make it hard for you to trust others and open up emotionally, making intimate relationships a bit of a challenge.

But here’s the silver lining. Recognizing this pattern is the first step in breaking it.

With time, patience, and perhaps some professional help, you can learn to build healthy, fulfilling relationships that bring you joy and not just fear or pain.

8) Learning resilience

With selfish parents, adversity often becomes a familiar friend. But from this adversity, an incredible strength can emerge: resilience.

This ability to bounce back, to keep going despite the odds, is one of the most powerful tools you can possess.

It’s what helps you navigate life’s ups and downs, and come out stronger on the other side.

Take a moment to acknowledge your strength.

You have learned to turn adversity into resilience, and that’s something truly remarkable.

Embracing the journey of self-discovery

If you’ve come this far, you may have recognized yourself in some of these behaviors. But here’s the crucial part, recognizing these patterns is the first step towards changing them.

Growing up with selfish parents isn’t a life sentence. Yes, it shapes you, but it doesn’t define you.

You have the power to rewrite your narrative and become the person you want to be.

Take heart in the fact that your experiences have made you resilient, empathetic, and independent.

These are traits that can serve you well in life if balanced properly.

It’s not an easy journey, but it’s one worth taking.

Because at the end of the day, it’s about understanding yourself better, healing from your past, and building a future that’s rooted in self-love and respect.

Here’s to your journey of self-discovery.

Remember, it’s not about where you come from, but where you’re going.