Men who were regularly put down by their father growing up typically display these 7 behaviors later in life

If you’re a man who experienced regular put-downs from your father during your formative years, you’re not alone.

This unfortunate circumstance is more common than you might think, and it often results in specific behavioral traits in adulthood. The impact of such a parental relationship can be profound, shaping your self-perception, emotional health, and relationship dynamics.

In this article, we will delve into the seven most common behaviors typically displayed by men who were regularly put down by their fathers during childhood – let’s dive into these behaviors to gain a clearer understanding of how early life experiences with a critical father might have shaped your current behavior patterns.

1) Low self-esteem

The first common behavior is low self-esteem.

When you are regularly criticized, especially by a figure of authority like your father, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy that persist into adulthood. You might constantly question your worth and abilities, often feeling undeserving of praise or success.

Low self-esteem can manifest in various ways, including:

• Perfectionism
• People-pleasing
• Fear of failure
• Negative self-talk

2) Difficulty expressing emotions

Men raised by critical fathers may have learned to suppress their feelings to avoid further criticism or ridicule.

This emotional repression can result in an inability to effectively communicate feelings in adulthood, leading to misunderstandings, relationship issues, and even emotional health problems.

Emotional suppression can lead to you feeling disconnected from your own emotions, making it hard for you to understand what you’re feeling. It can also cause stress and anxiety, as unexpressed emotions can build up inside you, creating a constant state of tension.

Furthermore, suppressing emotions can make it challenging for you to empathize with others’ feelings, which can further strain your personal relationships. You might find it hard to comfort others in distress or express your love and affection openly.

3) Tendency to self-isolate

Feeling consistently criticized and belittled can lead to the belief that others may judge or reject you similarly, pushing you to keep a safe distance from people.

This isolation can be both physical, avoiding social gatherings or intimate relationships, and emotional, keeping your feelings and thoughts to yourself.

Self-isolation can create a vicious cycle. The more you isolate yourself, the more disconnected and lonely you may feel. This loneliness can further reinforce your feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness, leading you to isolate even more.

4) Defensive attitude

Regular criticism from a father figure during childhood can make you highly sensitive to criticism or perceived judgment in adulthood. This often leads to a defensive stance where you may feel a need to protect yourself from further emotional pain.

Being constantly on guard can affect your ability to accept constructive feedback, which is crucial for personal and professional growth. You might misinterpret well-intentioned comments as attacks, leading to unnecessary conflicts and strained relationships.

Moreover, this defensive attitude can also prevent you from acknowledging and rectifying your mistakes, hindering your self-improvement journey and creating barriers to developing stronger, healthier relationships.

5) Struggle with authority figures

If your father was highly critical, he was likely an authority figure who made you feel inadequate and unworthy.

As a result, you may now associate authority figures with these negative emotions, leading to conflict or discomfort in situations where you need to interact with them.

This could manifest in various ways such as resistance to following rules, difficulty accepting guidance or directions from superiors, or even developing a rebellious attitude. These reactions can create unnecessary obstacles in your career advancement and personal growth.

It’s important to understand that this struggle is a learned response based on your past experiences and not a reflection of your capabilities or worthiness. Recognizing this can be the first step towards changing your relationship with authority figures.

6) Inclination towards self-sabotage

When you’ve grown up with constant criticism, you may internalize the belief that you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve success or happiness.

This belief can lead to a pattern of self-sabotaging behaviors where you unconsciously undermine your own efforts to achieve goals or maintain relationships.

Self-sabotage could take various forms, such as procrastination, making poor decisions knowingly, or pushing away people who treat you well. It’s as if there’s a part of you that’s working against your own best interests, driven by the deep-seated belief that you don’t deserve better.

7) Hypersensitivity to criticism

Enduring constant put-downs from your father can make you particularly sensitive to any form of critique, regardless of its intention or source. Even constructive feedback may be perceived as an attack, triggering feelings of defensiveness, anger, or shame.

This hypersensitivity can hinder personal growth and development, as criticism is often a crucial part of learning and improving. It can also cause strain in relationships, as others may feel they need to tread lightly around your feelings.

Awareness of this hypersensitivity allows you to start addressing it. With understanding and self-compassion, you can gradually learn to view criticism as a tool for growth rather than an attack on your self-worth.

Steps towards healing and personal growth

Understanding these behaviors is the first step towards healing from the impact of a critical father. The next, and equally important step, is to actively work towards personal growth and change.

This journey is deeply personal and will vary from person to person. However, there are a few universal steps that can aid in this process.

Firstly, acknowledging the past experiences and understanding their impact on your behavior is crucial. It’s important to remember that it’s not about blaming or dwelling on the past, but about understanding how it has shaped you.

Secondly, cultivating self-compassion is vital. It involves forgiving yourself for past mistakes, acknowledging your strengths, and treating yourself with kindness.

Finally, seeking professional help such as therapy or counseling can be extremely beneficial. A mental health professional can provide you with the tools and strategies to overcome these challenges and foster healthier behaviors.

Remember, change takes time and patience. It’s a journey of self-discovery and growth.

You have already taken the first step by seeking understanding – be proud of that. Keep moving forward, one step at a time, towards a future where your past doesn’t define you.