If you want your adult child to truly respect you, it might be time to say goodbye to these 8 habits

If your adult child rolls their eyes every time you start talking, it might be time to rethink your approach.

There’s a fine line between being a parent and being a friend, and honestly, it’s a juggling act we’re all still trying to perfect.

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual—we know this.

But sometimes, our ingrained habits can create walls instead of bridges in our relationships.

If you want your grown-up child to see you with respect rather than resentment, it’s time to let go of these eight habits.

In the journey of parenthood, change is the only constant:

1) Trying to fix everything

We’ve all been there.

As parents, it’s in our nature to want to swoop in and save the day whenever our kids are in trouble—even when they’re adults.

However, sometimes, our instinct to ‘fix’ things can do more harm than good.

When your adult child comes to you with a problem, they might not be looking for a solution.

Sometimes, they just want someone who will listen empathetically and validate their feelings.

Instead of jumping to the rescue, take a step back.

Listen, empathize, and remember: It’s their journey to navigate—you’re there to support, not steer.

Letting go of the need to ‘fix’ things can be tough.

But, trust me, it’s a game changer in building respect and fostering a healthy relationship with your adult child.

2) Overstepping boundaries

Personal space isn’t just about physical distance.

It has a lot to do with respect, trust, and understanding.

I remember this one time when my grown-up daughter was going through a tough phase in her life.

It was one of those typical things – job stress, relationship woes, the whole package.

I, being the mom I am, thought it would be a good idea to surprise her with an unannounced visit and a homemade casserole to cheer her up.

But boy, was I wrong.

Instead of being delighted by my gesture, she seemed annoyed and a bit invaded.

That’s when I realized I’d overstepped a boundary.

Our adult children need their space: Both physically and emotionally—just as much as we do.

By respecting their boundaries, we show them that we respect them as individuals, and that’s a surefire way to earn their respect in return.

The next time you feel the urge to overstep, take a pause.

Ask yourself: “Am I respecting their space?” It’s a small step, but it makes a big difference.

3) Being overly critical

We all strive for perfection and, as parents, we often project that onto our children.

But did you know that criticism can actually hinder rather than help their growth?

Individuals who faced constant criticism were more likely to struggle with self-esteem issues and were also more prone to anxiety and depression.

The next time you’re about to point out a flaw or mistake, try turning it into a constructive conversation instead.

Focus on the effort and improvement, not just the end result.

Remember, building respect is all about fostering growth through understanding, not undermining it with constant criticism.

4) Avoiding difficult conversations

No one likes uncomfortable conversations—it’s just human nature.

However, they’re necessary for growth and understanding sometimes.

When we’re open to discussing sensitive topics with our adult children—whether it’s about finances, relationships, or personal struggles—it shows that we respect them enough to treat them as equals.

It might be challenging initially, but over time, you’ll see the benefits.

Not only will these tough talks strengthen your bond, they’ll also pave the way for open communication and mutual respect.

Don’t shy away from the difficult conversations: Embrace them, and watch your relationship with your adult child flourish.

5) Ignoring their perspective

I remember a time when my son wanted to switch his major in college: I was initially against it as I thought he was making a huge mistake, throwing away a secure future for an uncertain one.

Instead of outright dismissing his decision, I decided to sit down and really listen to him—and I’m glad I did.

Hearing his perspective, understanding his passion and the thought process behind his decision.

It changed everything as I saw a level of maturity and conviction in him that made me respect him even more.

That’s when I realized how crucial it is to truly listen and consider our adult children’s perspectives.

It shows we value their insights and opinions, which in turn fosters mutual respect.

The next time you’re quick to dismiss their viewpoint, take a moment and listen to your adult children.

6) Keeping up the ‘perfect parent’ facade

We often feel the need to portray ourselves as infallible to our children.

It’s a natural instinct—we want to be their role models, their superheroes.

Here’s the twist: Our adult children might respect us more if we let them see our flaws.

Showing our vulnerabilities doesn’t make us weak.

On the contrary, it makes us human and sends out a message that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.

Admitting when you’re wrong, asking for help when you need it, or simply showing that you too have bad days—these are signs of strength, not weakness.

Let go of the ‘perfect parent’ facade.

Embrace your flaws, and in doing so, you might just earn more respect from your adult child.

They might even see you as their superhero—not because you’re perfect, but because you’re perfectly human.

7) Sticking to outdated beliefs

Change is inevitable.

What was considered normal twenty years ago might not be the case today—the same goes for parenting styles and beliefs.

Our adult children live in a world that’s vastly different from the one we grew up in.

They’re exposed to new ideas, cultures, and ways of thinking that might seem foreign to us.

However, that doesn’t mean we should disregard them.

Instead, we should make an effort to understand and adapt.

Whether it’s accepting new career choices, embracing different lifestyles, or simply being open to new ideas—being flexible with our beliefs can go a long way in earning our adult children’s respect.

It’s not about compromising your values, but about evolving with the times for the sake of better understanding and connection.

8) Forgetting to show your love

At the end of the day, your adult child is still your child.

Nothing matters more than letting them know they’re loved—unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

It can be as simple as a warm hug, a thoughtful text, or a heartfelt conversation.

These small gestures can make a world of difference.

Never hesitate to express your love; it’s the greatest respect we can give, and it’s the greatest respect we can receive.

A final note on earning respect

Walking the path of parenthood is a perpetual learning curve, filled with moments of joy, challenges, and invaluable lessons.

The journey is unique for all, but one common thread binds us: The desire for our children’s respect.

Earning your adult child’s respect is not about changing who you are.

It’s about evolving and growing with them, understanding their world, and respecting their journey as much as you want them to respect yours.

Letting go of these eight habits doesn’t mean losing yourself; it means finding a new way to connect with your child on a deeper level.

It’s about showing them that you’re not just their parent, but also a fellow traveler in the journey of life, ready to learn, adapt, and grow alongside them.

Let’s be the best version of ourselves so that our children can do the same.

Remember, respect is not demanded; it’s earned.

The journey towards earning it is an unforgettable voyage of self-discovery and growth.

Embark on this journey today—you never know what life-changing experiences await you around the corner.