People who grew up with very little affection tend to develop these 7 traits later in life (according to psychology)

Growing up with very little affection can shape a person’s life, sometimes in ways we might not even realize.

As per psychology, those who experienced less warmth and tenderness in their formative years often develop certain traits as they navigate through life.

I’m going to delve into this a bit more and share with you seven traits that often emerge in adults who received limited affection during their childhood.

While it’s not an easy topic, it’s important to understand how our upbringing impacts us, helping us become more compassionate individuals and perhaps even more understanding parents.

Let’s step into this deep, yet enlightening exploration together:

1) Highly independent

One of the most common traits found in individuals who grew up with little affection is a strong sense of independence.

They often learn from a young age that they need to rely on themselves more than others.

This independent streak can be a double-edged sword.

On one hand, it can lead to self-reliance, resilience, and a drive to succeed; on the other hand, it can also create challenges in forming close relationships and trusting others.

It’s important to remember that while these traits may be common, they’re not definitive.

Everyone’s life experience is unique, and countless factors come into play in shaping our personalities and behaviors.

Just because someone grew up with little affection doesn’t mean they’re destined to exhibit these traits – it just often steers them in that direction.

In understanding these traits, we can better understand ourselves and others, fostering empathy and connection in our relationships and communities.

2) Difficulty expressing emotions

Growing up with limited affection can often lead to a struggle with expressing emotions in adulthood.

I can personally attest to this: As a child, affection was sparse in my household.

We loved each other, sure, but showing it?

That was a different story.

This lack of emotional expression during my formative years led to me being quite reserved emotionally as an adult.

It wasn’t until I started delving into psychology and understanding my own upbringing that I realized why I found it so challenging to express my feelings.

The eminent psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

This quote resonated with me immensely—accepting my emotions, and my difficulty in expressing them, was the first step towards change.

By understanding where these emotional barriers come from, we can begin to break them down and cultivate healthier ways of communicating our feelings.

It’s not easy, but acknowledging our past and the traits it has fostered is the starting point for growth and change.

3) Craving for affection

Have you ever felt a profound yearning for love and affection?

This is a common trait among those who didn’t receive enough warmth and care during their childhood.

This craving can sometimes lead to a pursuit of affection in the wrong places or settling for less than they deserve, just to experience a semblance of that missing warmth.

Recognizing these feelings and where they stem from is a powerful step towards healing.

Remember, it’s okay to crave love and affection—it’s a basic human need.

However, it’s also essential to understand that we deserve healthy, meaningful connections that fulfill us, rather than deplete us.

4) Hyper-vigilance

People who grew up with little affection often develop a sense of hyper-vigilance.

This means they’re always on high alert, constantly scanning their environment for potential threats or signs of rejection.

Having this trait is rooted in the early experiences of feeling unsafe or insecure, a common feeling among those who didn’t receive consistent affection during childhood.

The world can seem like an unpredictable place, and being vigilant is a way of trying to control the uncontrollable.

Children who experienced less affection and more harsh parenting were more likely to be hyper-vigilant and anxious due to the stress.

This pattern often carries into adulthood and can impact relationships and overall wellbeing.

Understanding this hyper-vigilance can help us make sense of our behaviors and reactions, and further underscores the importance of nurturing and affection in early development.

5) Fear of intimacy

A fear of intimacy can often be traced back to a childhood lacking in affection.

As someone who’s experienced this, I can tell you that it’s not simply about fearing close relationships, but more about the vulnerability that comes with them.

The thought of letting someone in, only to potentially get hurt, can be terrifying.

This fear often stems from not having experienced a secure and loving environment during one’s early years.

Psychologist Sigmund Freud once said, “We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love.”

This statement beautifully encapsulates the fear many of us feel when it comes to forming intimate relationships.

Recognizing this fear is the first step towards overcoming it.

It’s okay to be afraid, but it’s also important to remember that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness; it allows us to form deep, meaningful connections with others – something we all inherently crave.

6) Empathy overload

Counterintuitively, those who received little affection during childhood often exhibit a high degree of empathy.

They can be exceptionally sensitive to others’ emotions, sometimes to the point of feeling overwhelmed.

This heightened empathy may stem from a deep understanding of what it’s like to feel unloved or neglected.

It’s as if a lack of affection in their own lives has tuned them into the emotional needs of others.

Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”

This is particularly true for those with empathy overload.

Their personal experiences equip them with a unique ability to connect with and understand others in a profound way.

Yet, it’s crucial to remember that while empathy is a beautiful trait, it’s essential to protect our own emotional wellbeing too.

Setting boundaries and practicing self-care are key to ensuring we don’t lose ourselves while caring for others.

7) Strong resilience

Finally, one of the most noteworthy traits of people who grew up with little affection is an incredible resilience.

They’ve learned to weather storms and keep moving forward, often developing a tenacity that serves them well in life’s challenges.

It’s important to remember that resilience doesn’t mean one has to shoulder everything alone; it’s okay to seek help and lean on others.

True strength lies in knowing when you need support and having the courage to ask for it.

Final reflections

The threads of our childhood experiences weave the fabric of our adult lives.

The lack of affection during those formative years can manifest in various traits, shaping how we perceive and interact with the world around us—but it’s important to remember that these traits don’t define us.

They’re merely signposts, guiding us towards a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.

Every trait, every behavior, every tendency is a piece of the puzzle that makes up who we are.

While some pieces may be painful to look at, they’re all part of our unique story.

Whether you identify with all, some, or none of these traits, remember this: You are not alone.

Your experiences have shaped you, but they don’t confine you.

Understanding your past is the first step towards shaping your future.

In that journey of self-discovery and growth, remember to be patient and kind to yourself.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all just doing our best with the hand we’ve been dealt—and that’s something worth celebrating.