7 phrases fake sincere people use to get on your good side, says psychology

Navigating the world of relationships can be tricky, especially when it comes to distinguishing the genuinely sincere from the phonies.

As a mom, it’s not just about you anymore; it’s also about protecting your child from those who might want to take advantage. Psychology tells us there are certain phrases that these fake sincere folks often use to win us over.

In this article, we’ll unmask those seven phrases that might seem authentic at first but are used by people only interested in getting on your good side for their gain.

Remember, it’s not just about spotting insincerity in others, but it’s also about fostering genuine, positive relationships for ourselves and our little ones.

Let’s get started.

1) “You’re not like others…”

In the realm of human interactions, you’ll often come across people who seemingly shower you with compliments. One phrase that often stands out is the classic “You’re not like others.”

This phrase is a clever psychological maneuver used by individuals who are trying to win your favor. They want to make you feel special, unique, and therefore more likely to trust them or see them in a positive light.

But this isn’t always genuine, and it’s important to be aware of this tactic. As renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” The same sentiment can apply to manipulative phrases.

If someone uses this phrase frequently and without provocation, it could be a sign they’re not as sincere as they may seem. In reality, they might be using this tactic to get on your good side without truly valuing your uniqueness.

Sincerity comes from genuine understanding and appreciation, not recycled phrases used to create a false sense of intimacy.

2) “Trust me…”

“Trust me” – a phrase we’ve all heard and perhaps have used at one point or another. But when it’s used excessively or in situations where trust should be a given, it can raise a red flag.

I remember meeting a mom at a local playgroup. She was friendly, outgoing, and seemed genuinely interested in forming friendships with other parents.

Every time we discussed parenting choices, she would end her advice with “Trust me, I’ve been there.”

I appreciated her advice initially, but as time went on, it began to feel like she was using this phrase to assert authority or create a sense of obligation. It felt manipulative rather than supportive.

When “trust me” is overused or deployed in the wrong context, it’s not about building trust—it’s more about control.

Always trust your instincts and remember that genuine trust is earned through actions and time, not just words.

3) “I’m only saying this for your own good…”

Have you ever had someone tell you, “I’m only saying this for your own good”? It’s a phrase that often carries a sting, a sense of being judged or manipulated under the guise of care.

When I was navigating the early days of breastfeeding, a close friend kept insisting that I should switch to formula. Each time she brought it up, she’d preface her suggestion with, “I’m only saying this for your own good…”

While I knew she had my best interests at heart, it felt like my struggles were being dismissed rather than understood. It wasn’t about what was best for me or my baby, but more about her own beliefs.

As the renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” This phrase is often used by people who think they know better than you do about your life.

Nobody else truly knows what’s best for you or your child except you. So when someone tells you they’re saying something ‘for your own good’, take it with a grain of salt.

Trust your instincts and don’t let anyone undermine your confidence in your decisions.

4) “Just between you and me…”

The phrase “Just between you and me” might seem like a sign of trust or closeness, but there’s more to it than meets the eye.

I recall a time when another mom in my circle started a conversation with “Just between you and me…” before sharing information about another parent. It made me feel uncomfortable and privy to information that I shouldn’t have been.

A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that gossip can be a strategy people use to build alliances and gain social standing.

When someone uses phrases like “Just between you and me,” they’re often trying to create an artificial bond based on shared secrets.

But true bonds are built on mutual respect, honesty, and shared experiences, not on gossip or secrets.

So the next time someone starts a sentence with “Just between you and me,” think twice about what they’re really trying to achieve.

5) “You’re too sensitive…”

The phrase “You’re too sensitive” is another commonly used tactic by those who aren’t as sincere as they appear. This statement is often used to invalidate your feelings or reactions, deflecting the blame onto you.

When my son was teething, he was understandably cranky and a bit more difficult than usual. A relative told me, “You’re too sensitive. He’s just teething.” It felt like she was dismissing my struggle and labelling my concern as an overreaction.

But as the esteemed psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn… and change.” This means that your feelings and reactions are valid and essential for personal growth and understanding.

If someone labels you as ‘too sensitive’, they might be trying to manipulate the situation to their advantage by undermining your feelings.

Remember, it’s okay to be sensitive. Your emotions are valid, and you have the right to express them without judgment or dismissal.

6) “I totally understand…”

It may seem counterintuitive, but hearing someone say, “I totally understand” can sometimes be a red flag. While empathy is crucial in any relationship, claiming to fully understand another person’s experience can often be a form of manipulation.

The phrase “I totally understand” can sometimes be used by people who want to appear empathetic and caring, but who may not actually be interested in your feelings or experiences.

They may just be trying to steer the conversation in their favor or avoid dealing with difficult topics. True understanding doesn’t come from mere words but from active listening, empathy, and shared experiences.

The next time someone claims they ‘totally understand’, ask yourself if they’re truly listening to you or just trying to control the narrative.

7) “I’m sorry, but…”

The phrase “I’m sorry, but…” is often a classic sign of insincerity. Apologies should be genuine and not followed by a justification or an excuse.

Remember, a sincere apology doesn’t need a ‘but’. It should be straightforward, accepting responsibility for actions without trying to shift blame or make excuses.

Final thoughts

Human interaction is a complex dance of words, expressions, and underlying intentions. As we navigate this dance, it’s crucial to be aware of the phrases and tactics some people use to appear more sincere than they truly are.

It’s not about being paranoid or overly suspicious but rather about nurturing authentic connections. Remember, genuine sincerity doesn’t rely on recycled phrases or manipulative tactics. It shines through in consistent actions, genuine understanding, and heartfelt empathy.

As you go forward, keep these seven phrases in mind. Use this knowledge not to judge harshly but to discern better, foster real bonds, and protect your emotional space and that of your little ones.

In the end, it’s about creating a world where sincerity isn’t a rare commodity but a common currency. And that starts with us – one interaction at a time.