7 types of friends you should consider letting go as you get older, says this psychologist

Navigating friendships as we grow older can be tough terrain to tread.

Not all friends are created equal, and some friendships, despite the history, may not be serving you any longer.

According to one psychologist, there are 7 types of friends you should consider parting ways with as you mature. It’s not about being heartless, but about prioritizing your peace of mind and personal growth.

In the spirit of honest self-reflection and intentional living, let’s explore these friendships and why it might be time to let them go.

1) The energy drainer

As we age, our time and energy become more precious.

One type of friend that you may need to reconsider is the ‘Energy Drainer.’ This person constantly leans on you for support, but rarely offers any in return.

Their issues always seem to take center stage, leaving you feeling exhausted instead of uplifted after spending time together.

Famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

Take a moment to reflect on this quote. Ideally, friendships should inspire growth and positivity in your life.

If your interaction with a friend leaves you feeling more drained than transformed, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

2) The perpetual naysayer

We’ve all had that one friend who seems to find the cloud in every silver lining.

In my own experience, I had a friend named Sam. We’d known each other since childhood, but as we grew older, I noticed that Sam had a knack for pointing out the negatives.

No matter what the situation was, he always found something to complain about. His constant negativity began to affect my outlook on life and I found myself becoming more cynical.

Famous psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman, who is known for his work on positive psychology, said: “Optimism is not about providing a recipe for self-deception. The world can be a horrible, cruel place, and at the same time, it can be wonderful and abundant. These are both truths. There is not a halfway point; there is only choosing which truth to put in your personal foreground.”

Sam’s constant pessimism made it difficult for me to maintain a positive perspective. Despite our long history, I realized that letting go of our friendship would be the best choice for my mental well-being.

3) The competitive comrade

Do you have a friendship that feels more like a competition?

I’m talking about the friend who always seems to be in a race with you. Whether it’s about jobs, relationships, or personal achievements, they always try to one-up you.

Instead of celebrating your accomplishments, they seem more focused on outdoing you.

Psychologist Alfred Adler once said: “Exaggerated competition leads to a feeling of worthlessness. Cooperation, mutual aid, leads to a feeling of community and self-worth.”

Friendship should be about mutual support and shared joy, not an endless race to the top.

If your friend’s competitive nature is undermining your self-worth, it might be time for an honest conversation or even a step back from the friendship.

4) The unreformed critic

Criticism can be constructive, but when it’s constant and unrelenting, it can be harmful.

A friend who always picks at your flaws or criticizes every choice you make can seriously affect your self-esteem. Instead of feeling supported and loved, you might feel judged and inadequate.

A study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that individuals who frequently experienced criticism from their friends showed higher levels of stress and depressive symptoms.

Friendships should lift you up, not weigh you down. If you find yourself constantly on the receiving end of harsh criticism, it may be time to reassess the friendship.

5) The past-dweller

There’s something comforting about reminiscing on old times, especially with friends who have known you for years. But what if a friend seems stuck in the past?

I had a friend like this. Our conversations always circled back to high school days, never really moving forward.

I began to realize that our friendship was not growing, but rather, stagnating in the past.

Psychologist Eckhart Tolle once said, “People don’t realize that now is all there ever is; there is no past or future except as memory or anticipation in your mind.”

Friendships should evolve as we do. If a friend is constantly dwelling on the past, it might be a sign that it’s time to move forward.

6) The agreeable acquaintance

It might seem counterintuitive, but a friend who always agrees with you isn’t necessarily a good thing.

A friend who supports your every decision, no matter what, might seem ideal. But sometimes, we need our friends to challenge us and provide a different perspective.

If they’re always agreeing with you just to keep the peace, it could prevent you from growing.

Famed psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”

Change often comes from challenging our own beliefs and perspectives. If your friend is never willing to do that, it might be time to reconsider the value they bring to your life.

7) The inconsistent ally

Reliability is a key component in any friendship.

If you have a friend who’s always cancelling plans last minute or is generally unreliable, it can create feelings of frustration and distrust.

As psychologist Rollo May stated, “The capacity for reliable behavior is a mark of integrity.”

Friendship should be based on mutual respect and reliability. If that’s lacking, it might be time to let go.

Final reflections

Navigating the waters of friendship as we age can be complex and emotionally challenging.

Letting go of long-standing friendships is never easy, but sometimes it’s necessary for our personal growth and mental well-being.

As we mature, our priorities shift, and the relationships that once served us may no longer do so.

Remember that it’s okay to outgrow people, to seek out relationships that enrich your life, and to surround yourself with those who foster your growth and happiness.

Reflect on your friendships, their impacts on your life, and whether they align with the person you aspire to be.

With honesty and intentionality, you’re empowered to make the best choices for your relationships as you continue your journey through life.